Ask anyone who is in a long term relationship, whether married or not, and they will tell you that these intense relationships can be hard to manage! They tell us that "it's hard work" to keep a marriage going well and that it's also about "give and take" and "compromise". Achieving complete marriage intimacy is the goal of most couples, but how do we get there and what do we need to learn? One of the first things we need to learn is to refrain from being overly critical of our partner. That doesn't mean that we can't disagree with them, but it does mean that we have to put in some effort to shift our focus.
But no matter where I was or what was on my mind, I usually slept well — so well that I took it for granted. If he tossed and turned even slightly, I was up. If he snored, I was up. If he woke up in the middle of the night and got up to use the bathroom — even when he extricated himself from the bed so slowly and carefully that it looked like he was part of a modern dance piece — I snapped wide awake, and struggled to fall back asleep. I thought the problem had to be my old, worn-out queen size mattress, so we got a brand-new one. I then thought the problem was an unstable bed frame, so I tried to fix it by shoving various household items under the bed legs.
I have a problem that I have been dealing with for years. My husband falls asleep on the couch every night. I have tried to tell him that he should come up to bed. That is where couples get close, and most couples I know sleep together.
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